Death is difficult. Leaving loved ones behind, or bearing the loss of loved ones, is the heaviest part of life. Going through a painful death, or being the witness to the pain of a loved one dying, is almost unbearable. When my father died I was in shock, feeling as if I had been hit by a train. The pain was so heavy to bear that it choked me and scared me at first. However, what helped me out of this wreckage was to accept and get in touch with the pain.

   I took a full week off preparing the funeral and during this time I went through all of my father’s things with all the memories connected to them. For a full week I cried, culminating in the speech that I gave at the funeral. This speech contained the most difficult words I have ever spoken. But just after the funeral I felt something lift and the next day I began to feel the pain leave my heart. It was as if during that whole week I was able to take it all in and let it all out. 

   In Perfect Endings, Robert Sachs says: “No death is good. No death is bad. Death just is.” Death is a natural part of life, and Sachs explains that whatever form death takes, it is still the perfect conclusion to the life that we have lived. No matter the kind of death we experience, it is still something we must come to terms with through acceptance.         

   After having accepted the death of my father, I found that the only thing I regretted was the things that I did not have time to say before he died—the things left unsaid, like “I love you.” Now, this chance was lost, and all of a sudden, I wanted to say this more than anything in the world. 

   Death is an absolute, and therefore, it makes life extremely important. What is said and done before has profound meaning, and it is almost as if death sometimes can teach us the meaning of life.

However, while death is a physical end to life, we can learn from near death experiences not only that life continues but also that nothing is ever lost. The final bell is but the doorbell of an unimaginable magnificent bright state of being on the other side. In my view, the research into the near-death experience is the best and most creditable good news of what is on the other side of this door. The news is so good that it should bring about a positive perspective with both the dying person and the loved ones.

   One near-death account tells us that there is no reason for us or the person dying to fear death: “Before my experience I had wondered, like most, about death, and, like most, was afraid of the unknown. I now know that there is no pain, there is nothing other than the ending of one chapter and the turning of the page.”

   Death is the beginning of a wonderful experience as we turn the page: “At 11.30 p.m. he stirred and said he had died. I asked him what it was like; he relied, ‘Ecstasy’…’If anyone asks if there is a God I shall say yes, I have seen him’.” Another person reveals that, “My experience of death was wonderful. I was floating high up, no pain, great joy, and no fear…I was overwhelmed with joy.”

   On the other side there is no pain anymore, even if the dying process is painful itself, we are liberated from this pain. One account explains: “The pain was replaced by this wonderful feeling, such a contrast to the pain and suffering…I would like to encourage people to be unafraid of death.” The light on the other side is so unbelievably wonderful that all pain experienced in this world completely disappears.

   As a loved one witnessing the painful death of a person, I believe these testimonies can offer great comfort by understanding that the light on the other side is all good—all love. What was pain will be no more, and as the dying person, the light gives great hope and meaning to death. Knowing that this is where we go when we die can make us relax and concentrate on leaving this world in the best manner.